Choose your own ending!

Subtitle 1

As you are running down the coastal cliffs of Lima, Peru, you suddenly are hit with the urge to run to the restroom.

If you decide to ignore the urge and keep running, go to subtitle 4 of this post.

If you decide to stop at Las Terrazas tennis courts to use their bathroom, go to subtitle 5 of this post.

Subtitle 2

Apparently the three strips of toilet paper weren't enough because you develop a horrible inner thigh rash. Now you aren't able to run for 4 days, and you are back to doing your own laundry for the next week.

The end

Subtitle 3

After a cold, brief moment you finish your business and your back on track to the 6:30 pace. Unfortunately 3 days later you come down with a horrible case of the swine flu. Because you aren't able to run for 2 weeks, your 6:30 pace turns into an 8 minute pace.

The end

Subtitle 4

After 3 more minutes of running down the Malecon, you quickly realize that you made a horrible mistake. Skipping all the dirty details, you are now doing your own laundry for the next week and your wife can't stop laughing every time you mention the word run.

The end

Subtitle 5

You run past the front entrance and ignore the "Members only" sign above the bathroom. As you enter the bathroom you notice two stalls. You open the first stall to find that the toilet has no seat. You look into the next stall and find that there is a seat.

If you decide to save time and be brave by putting your tush on the toilet without a seat, go to subtitle 3 of this post.

If you decide that comfort over courage is only way to go, jump to subtitle 7 of this post.

Subtitle 6

You make it to the next stall without being noticed, finish up your business, walk out of the way bathroom like nothing out of the ordinary happened, run the rest of your course, and come home to find your wife extremely worried as you were the in front of her for the entire pace run. After sharing your brief encounter with Las Terrazas your wife now laughs at you every time you mention the word run.

The end

Subtitle 7

Even though you chose the toilet with a seat, you still place toilet paper around the seat for extra protection. As you sit down, you realize that this stall was specifically made for a Latin man or a small American child. You hear the door open and your mind quickly turns to the Wizard of Oz, where the wicked witch of the west is crushed by Dorothy's house and the only thing you can see are her red slippers; the only thing that this person will see are your size 10 1/2 red Saucony's. As you finish up, you turn to the toilet paper dispenser and realize that the only toilet paper left is the squares you are currently sitting on.

If you decide to use what you have and get home as fast as possible, run to subtitle 2

If you decide to pull your shorts half-way up and sneak into the next stall, choose subtitle 6